Even parents’ workplaces matter. Adults experience bullying in their workplaces at about the same rate as children in schools, and it’s even found among teachers and in senior living communities. In other words, bullying is not just a childhood problem; it is a pervasive human problem. And children are not buffered from the wider social world—bullying of children who belong to groups targeted in the national political discourse has spiked on playgrounds nationwide.
Emotional bullying at school and psychological harassment at school is an unfortunately frequent phenomenon. Regardless of the objectives and number of participants involved, it has a two-fold negative impact: on one hand, the bullied child’s feelings toward school are negatively impacted. On the other hand, the effects of bullying impact the development of social relations in the entire school community. How to deal with bullies and emotional bullying, in particular, is a big challenge.
Leading child psychologists (myself included) believe that mobbing and bullying do not only set a precedent for communication challenges between the students involved but also indicate the strained social relationships of the entire class. The teacher is in a unique position to mitigate the effects of bullying at school. The teacher responsible for the class plays an instrumental role in preventing and overcoming this negative social phenomenon by creating a positive learning environment. Regardless of the types of bullying, the development of positive social relationships in the classroom depends on the teachers:
It is the teacher who can first notice the bullying at school by observing the negative trends in the relationship between students, stop them, and inform the parents quickest and most effective. Also, parents’ support and their interpersonal relationships with children create the foundation for the personal development of the child and prepare them for coping with various life situations, including potential harassment and emotional bullying at school.
Hopefully, if you always let your child know they can come to you for help, and encourage them to talk to you about school, their friends and what’s important in their lives, they will tell you if they’re being bullied. But many don’t, so whatever you do, don’t waste time feeling guilty about it.
This is new territory for many parents who may not have had mobile phones at school or the kind of online access some children have today. Here are a few signs to look out for that might mean your child is being bullied online or by phone:
Remember that ‘old-school’ bullying and cyberbullying are the same problem and it’s quite likely there will be elements of both at play, so don’t assume that, if your child has told you it’s all happening at lunchtimes, cyberbullying isn’t a factor. Likewise, if your child is receiving threatening texts, don’t assume it won’t spill over into the playground.
Kids bully for a mix of reasons. Sometimes they pick on kids because they need a victim — someone who seems emotionally or physically weaker, or just acts or appears different in some way — to feel more important, popular, or in control. Although some bullies are bigger or stronger than their victims, that’s not always the case.
Sometimes kids torment others because that’s the way they’ve been treated. They may think their behavior is normal because they come from families or other settings where everyone regularly gets angry and shouts or calls each other names. Some popular TV shows even seem to promote meanness — people are "voted off," shunned, or ridiculed for their appearance or lack of talent.
For example, preschoolers are expelled from school at the highest rates of all, but the neurological hardware for their self-control is only just developing. Only then are the connections between the emotion circuitry and the more thinking regions of the prefrontal cortex beginning to be myelinated (insulated for faster connectivity), something that will take until the mid 20s to complete. An SEL program like PATHS or RULER that teaches young children language for feelings, and strategies for thinking before acting, can develop better self-regulation.
Sometimes, adults confuse normal developmental processes with bullying. For example, children begin to reorganize their friendships midway through elementary school, something that can naturally create hurt feelings and interpersonal conflict. It should not be misconstrued as bullying, though, which involves intentional, repeated aggression within an imbalance of power. Normal development also includes experimenting with power, and these normal dynamics should be guided safely toward developing a healthy sense of agency, rather than a hurtful exertion of power over someone else.
Finally, the onset of puberty marks the beginning of heightened sensitivity to social relationships, an especially important time to cultivate skills for kinder, gentler relationships. Unfortunately, this is the period when bullying spikes the highest. And while some strategies work well for younger children (for example, advising them to “tell a trusted adult”), this option may fail with teens, and the breakpoint seems to be around the eighth grade. Older teens require approaches that are less didactic and leverage their need for autonomy, while affirming their values and search for meaning. Physiologically, the brain changes during puberty confer a second chance for recalibrating their stress regulation system. That opportunity should be constructively seized.
Bullies like hurting students who look afraid and cannot do anything to protect themselves. They want to take away their freedoms and deny them the chance to be happy.
However, they may also harm you by fighting physically and that may be dangerous to the bullied person such that they can’t be able to fight back because they may be stronger than you. Here are some ways you can protect yourself if you cannot fight back.
If you find yourself in trouble, you may try to stand with good posture so that the bully may avoid you. It may be helpful but only if you feel strong and sure enough to do so.
When you meet a bully and act confidently you have to be careful not to show your true feelings because it doesn’t reveal what you are really trying to show the bully.
The safest way to avoid being bullied is to tell them to stop by standing with a good posture and looking at them directly in the eyes or look at them suspiciously as if they are the ones hiding something that you didn’t want to know about and this perhaps may increase your confidence.
Telling an adult or a close teacher that you trust is a great advantage when you find yourself in a situation of bullying. However, they can never admit that they got bullied because their friends may laugh at them so they get sad and lonely.
Adults are always there to help you anytime as well as teachers so there is no need to be scared. They can even report instances of bullying whenever children are out of school so that they feel better to explain all the happenings.
Sometimes students may find themselves in permanent danger because they do not have the means to survive quickly. Students who cannot fight a bully may, therefore, work together with their friends to end the bullying situation.
Moon Of The South 2018